I shall see my mom very soon!

My mother's illness is not the path I would have chosen, but it has added to the power of the message I have always sought to share. Here is a picture of pure love and happiness expressed by a mom and daughter at my mini concert in Taouyuan.

Next week around this time I shall be in Canada enjoying the same beautiful warmth that can only be shared between mother and daughter!

I CAN'T WAIT!!!

想念廣播Missing Radio

昨晚有榮幸上黃國倫的廣播節目。 我很久以來就喜歡他寫的歌: "我願意" 但我以為是一個白頭髮的老爺爺寫的歌。 沒想到他滿年輕而有搖滾的風格。 但他也分享他閉關的一段日子才寫了這首歌。 我總覺得好的創作都是痛苦釀出來的。 很像女生要生孩子之前的痛。

Last night I had the honor to be on 黃國倫's radio show. I have always enjoyed the song he wrote, "我願意" I was surprised to find out he was not an older man as I had expected. I assumed that someone who could write lyrics with such depth must have grey hair. However, Mr. Huang was a young man with a rock and roll style to him. However, he did share that he also spent a period of his life looking for himself and writing music. His famous song is a result of four years of painful searching. This confirms my theory that creation must always include suffering. Just as a woman must suffer in pregnancy and childbirth, so too must the creator, be it of music or any other art.

坐在mic前讓我非常得懷念以前做廣播的日子。 最讓我感動是一位劉先生打進來在空中給飛吻給他的媽媽。他說他沒打過Call-in但我的分享有感動到他。 當我們問他"你的媽媽在哪裡?" 他的聲音就成下來，他說她已經走了幾個月了。 我好感動!!! 我知道他打進來不只是為了給個飛吻。 他希望他可以鼓勵大家把握他已經沒有的機會: 親自表達愛給媽媽。
Sitting in front of the microphone at the radio station made me think of the "good old days"...and the moment I was most touched was when I asked people to call in and blow a kiss to their mom on the air. A man by the name of Mr. Liu called in. He confessed he had never called into a radio program before. He bravely gave a loud "mmmmuah!" on air. When asked where his mom was, his voice became solemn and he shared how his mom had passed away a few months ago. I was SO TOUCHED...because I know he called in, not only to give a kiss to his mom, but he wanted to touch others in the hopes that they would make the most of an opportunity he no longer has...to express your love to your mom.

我想劉先生一定心裡還在療傷，但他的Call-in是一個犧牲和service. 他分享了他的心. 我想跟劉先生說: "謝謝你! MMMMMUAH!"
I'm sure life has not been easy as he is still in the mourning process, but Mr. Liu made an act of sacrifice and service to call in. He shared his heart and I want to say to him a big THANK YOU and MMMMMUAH!

那一個時刻讓我很懷念廣播!
His phone call really made me miss the days of radio!

黃老師的感想: ETFM BLOG

忙碌的旋傳

Life has been busy lately with radio interviews, magazine interview, school performance and I got to go to 真裡大學做歌唱比賽做裁判。 生命很精采，but this busy schedule challenges me up 因為我是痕喜歡控制的任；所以忙的時候就會有疑種不安全感。 我很開心有機會認識哪麼多人也很感動有這些人的鼓勵，不過一傘一傘的臉傘過去也讓我體會友一些比較深的關係的重要信，要不然每天忙碌很容易變成麻木。 不過還是堅持去看我的可愛的外婆。 她最近心跳的不舒服所以就和他禱告因為吃藥都沒有幫助。 我就跟她說"妳好可憐" 我可以感覺他有被安慰到。

參家學生的歌唱比賽讓我在一次去思考唱歌的本質。 有的時候我們很注重音準及技巧，但我想最重要還是人透過音樂可以碰到別人的心。 看到這協喁桿的同學就想到我剛開時學習上台唱歌常常走音因為很警張。 但是透過堅持練錫堅持冒險，透過很多的眼淚我陷在讚在台上市有信心的。 所以我就用我的故事鼓勵這些學生。

It is scarier to live in fear than it is to live a life with the courage to walk out there even when we are scared.

我的"少年家"在哪裡?

<---鄧雨賢的兒子

前幾天從來沒聽過鄧雨賢著個人，但我禿然被邀請去她的記錄片首映會，而必須學一首他的歌。
　沒想到其實我試聽他的歌長大的。 雖然我是加拿大華僑但他的音樂卻扮演了很重要的腳色在我生命因為只要我聽到他的歌就會想到爸爸。想念家鄉的她常常唱這些歌給我們聽。 我就找出來一段我三歲錄的片段，是我爸爸晿"滿春風"...我最後加了一聲"少年家". 想聽嗎? CLICK HERE

感覺好胖!!!

<----Not Model Thin

誰說瘦才是美? 我昨天思考了這問題。 為什麼? 因為認識了一對母女，媽媽說女兒怪他生她臉不夠瘦長。 這個女生其實很美有很甜的笑容。 更重要是她很有才華而一經出國練博士了。 有的時候我也會卡在我的外在的條件開始不斷地批評自己的”缺點”。 什麼事完美呢? 這個標準是誰定的? 真是讓我覺得好煩! 我同一天(也就是昨天)和一個非常瘦的女生照相，她就說 “Oh! 我的臉好大! 是方形的!” 聽到我的直覺的反應是 “那我呢?” 後來也覺得好莫名其妙，一個漂亮的女生看不到自己的美。 我想這種對話在我們的生活圈不斷地再發生。

我必須承認雖然我知道一個人的價值不應該來之她的外表，但我也會有負面的聲音困擾我。 為什麼是這樣? 因為每天我們都被媒體的標準轟炸。 我的專輯的封面上是一個沒有化妝的我…也沒有電腦修飾。 我真希望我們可以被解放。 不是說要放重，但是可以健康的去享受生命。 我今天早上不開心…看到昨天參加記者會的照片而記的這些女生給我的標準就開時負面。 我心理想: “I’m so fat and ugly.” 再來昨天晚上也吃了一個滿大的火機大餐。 我已經很難沒有罪惡感地享受美食。 看鏡子時就看自己不好。 I wish I could turn off all the programming! 後來就和朋友分享心情她就說 “如果內心的這些聲音那麼容易不理就沒那麼多賺很多錢的減肥公司。” 她就鼓勵我用正面的鼓勵去迪蕩外面的想法。But it’s easier said than done! 真得不容易。

做檸檬汁

<---Me and My mom 2 years ago.

Jesus said, "In this life you will have trouble,"
Buddha said "Life is suffering."
In The Road Less Travelled, M. Scott Peck said, "Life is difficult."
In Embracing Uncertainity, Susan Jeffers said, "Life is uncertain."

Well, that's not encouraging news! I would say it's bad news! The past two days I felt emotionally challenged as I struggle yet again to deal with accepting the state of my mother's health. My best friend Samantha is also going through a lot because her mother has been showing more serious signs of degredation from Alzheimers. It pains me to watch her have to mourn the loss of the mother she knew while having to take care of this new childlike person in the body of her mother.

I think the hardest thing to do amidst these trials is to accept and let go. ACCEPT. Seems like a simple word, but I often have to wrestle with many of life's unknowns, accepting that control is really just an illusion. LET GO...it's easy for us to think we're in control. We can decide what time to go to bed, what to eat, how much we work, but at any moment events can happen that make us realize that we are never truly in control.

So, how do we stay optimistic? For me it's learning to make the most of what I have. Though it's easy to feel paralyzed by fear and disappointment, like I once quoted on my radio show, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I don't know how much time I can enjoy with my mom, just as Samantha doesn't know how quickly her mother will degrade, but together we are learning how to encourage each other to make the most of it. For me, that means putting off work and going home for extended periods of time and planning small vacations for our family. For Samantha it means building a relationship with the person her mother has become.

When life does not deal you the cards you want, you still need to stay in the game. Besides, you never know when you'll get a surprise ace! I had that feeling yesterday because I was really feeling SO DOWN!...I finally allowed myself to take a nap and when I woke up I found out I had 3 radio interviews lined up for the coming weeks.

It really isn't easy going the indie route. We have no marketing budget and we're just trying our best to find avenues for me to share my music and my heart. With no money, no income and only two people I often feel overwhelmed by the feeling that I'm never doing enough. There's always more that needs to be done. But what I'm learning is to accept where I am and make the most of what I've got. That is not only a form of optimism, it is also a form of appreciation. I need to remind myself to stay grateful, that I have a partner also willing to invest her life, spirit and time, and for all the challenges I've overcome to be where I am today.

My theme song these days, "Let Go" by Frou Frou :-)

新竹的好吃和感動

昨天再新竹過了一個滿開心的時間。 下午在誠品表演，晚上在Sogo的路邊表演，有街頭藝人的感覺。 我們遇到的人都很親切及鼓勵包括誠品和Sogo的員工。 我被一些願意分享自己的真心的觀眾特別鼓勵到。 也因此發現可以用音樂讓大家團聚及互動和分享。 因為中國人很含蓄而也有許多的傳統，有這樣的機會和時間很不容易，也很寶貴。

Yesterday was a pleasant day in Hsinchu. I played at Eslite in the afternoon and on the sidewalk of Sogo in the evening. The people were receptive, friendly and encouraging. I was especially touched by some of the listeners who shared their hearts. I am beginning to realize how meaningful it can be to bring people together because of music and create an opportunity for sharing and interaction. This is not very easy in a conservative Chinese environment.

我邀請觀眾分享自己的優點有一個很勇敢的婦女說雖然踏面領許多的挑戰包括離婚和癲癇症，她還是對生命充滿熱情。我很欣賞她的勇氣願意分享她的真心!

I asked the audience to share something they admired about themselves. One woman shared how she although she struggled with divorce and epilepsy, she maintains a passion for life. I could see the hardship in her eyes, but also the light and the will to live. I really admired her courage, to share her heart that way.

我也給觀眾機會向他們的媽媽表達心裏的愛如同我為我母親寫的哥。 雖然我提共了一張Cd做獎品沒人站起來，我很擔心冷場了。 看到一個媽媽想說服她的青少年的女兒我就把他們拉到台上。 雖然女兒很害羞他做了一見他說他從來沒做過的事，就是吻媽媽的臉頰。

At the end of my Eslite bookstore concert I sang Mama and offered to give a CD to anyone willing to get up in front of everyone and either kiss their mom and tell them "I love you" or call their mom on the phone and do the same. I was scared nobody would take the offer...everyone just sat there in silence...I think yearning to be able to have the courage. I saw one mother trying to persuade her daughter, and felt something move me in side to get them to come up. At first the daughter was shy and reluctant, but she broke through and in an act of courage gave her mom a kiss on the cheek, something she admitted she has never done before. The daughter looked like she was in her early teens, a time when most parents feel emotionally very distant form their children as teens are forming their own character and identity.

媽媽一坐下來就開始哭。我想是感動的眼淚因為雖然我們知道我們家人是愛我們的，但是深心還是需要感受那份愛透過言語和肢體的表達。我真的很希望這對母女會繼續表達因為他們有這一次的勝利。

When the mom sat down she started crying. I know she must have felt so touched by her daughter's act of love. I hope they can carry on with this, now that they've had this one victory!

看到他們的突破感覺看到奇跡。 我有些朋友想了好幾年都沒辦法和父母的關係更靠近。 我們很容易孝順父母用錢或著問“你吃了沒?”但把真心拿出來並不簡單。 有的時候即便在同樣的房間但心裡的距離像海般的大。

That moment, I felt I had witnessed a miracle. I have several friends who are still unable after years of longing, to break through multitudes of barriers that exist preventing them to connect emotionally with their parents. It's easy for children to "show respect" as is ingrained in our culture, through giving money or asking "have you eaten yet?", but to really take out our hearts and make the connection...sometimes though we're in the same room it can feel like oceans.

所以我很感激我媽媽為了要愛我和我妹袂打破了她的傳統，希望透過分享她的榜樣也能繼力到大家。

So, I'm so grateful for my mom, who broke through many Chinese traditions to be close to me and my sister and by sharing her example, I hope that others will also be inspired.

這個精力特別讓我感動因為在那個時刻我是如此的開心我是活著的。 我心裡有個聲音告訴我 “這就是我的天命!” 即便我不是大明星…或許我永遠沒辦法靠音樂吃飯(雖然還是可以有夢想)…但是我有很寶貴的機會用很親密的方式分享我的音樂，是少數的大明星有的機會。

This experience was very moving for me because at that moment I felt so happy to be alive. In my heart I felt a voice say, "THIS is what I'm made to do!"...so I'm not a big super rockstar...I may never be able to make a living off my music...though I still dare to dream. But I have the opportunity to connect through my music on a very personal level with people. Something rockstars don't necessarily have the opportunity to do.

有的時候我還是會跟內心很想成功的慾望角力，但當我可以touch到人的新我就存了能量來應付那些在路邊唱，沒錢賺，也沒人理你的時候。

Hence, even though I often fight with inner temptation to want to "make it", moments like these add fuel to my bucket for the hard times when you're singing on the sidewalk baring your heart and soul, not making any money, while people pass by oblivious to the love you would like to share with them.

不過在 Sogo路邊唱很開心。有親愛的聽友透過網站的消息從台中來到新竹鼓勵我。

That said, singing on the sidewalk of Sogo was not a bad experience. Some people who heard about the show through my website came out to cheer me on...even a couple of people from Taichung!...

WOW…我想說一聲謝謝對所有和我分享在新竹很快了的一天。 你們的點頭，認真的眼神，用腳跟著節奏打拍子…你們都鼓勵到我，也參予了我的夢想。 很高興有機會和大家相處。

WOW...all I can say is THANKS to all you who stopped and listened, nodded and tapped your feet to my singing and sharing. You made me feel so happy to be alive...to have the chance to connect to all of you!

Sadness

There is this feeling of unease inside that I am having difficulty embracing...usually when I feel this way I just want to run, bike, eat, or do something...but actually I need to do nothing and learn to sit with the feeling...let it rise and recognize it as a part of me.

It is not so easy to embrace sadness...

What am I afraid of?

基隆&地瓜

Starting the Eslite Tour in Keelung was especially meaningful because it is my Dad's hometown. My uncle, his wife, cousin and her husband all came out to support me (you can see them in the second picture below). I tried to imagine my dad as a kid running around in the streets. Unfortunately didn't have the chance to eat at the night market.

可以在基隆開始我的誠品的巡迴讓我很感動因為我爸爸是基隆人。 我的親戚也來鼓勵我 (第二張照片)。 想到小時後的他在基隆的路上玩來玩去。可惜沒時間逛廟口。

Everytime I am reminded of my parents' history in Taiwan I always feel deeply moved at how life brings us to places we would never imagine ourselves. In Keelung I thought of my grandfather working at the fishing docks. I'm sure he never imagined he'd have a Canadian born granddaughter come back to sing. Unfortunately I will never be able to sing to him (he is deceased). I hear it was very difficult making a living those days. My father always says how they were so poor they had to steal yams to survive. Ironically I've been eating yams a lot lately (and they're not cheap anymore) Why? Because last time I went home my Dad kept preaching about the antioxidant properties of yams, how great they are for our digestive system and in preventing cancer. My parents eat yams EVERY MORNING! I myself prefer eating peanut butter and banana toast. But yams are available everywhere. You'll find baked yams, yam desserts or yam soup here on the streets of Taipei. So whenever I can I choose yams for a good snack!

每次想到我父母在台灣的歷史讓我很感動，也更深的體會到我們真的很難猜我們地未來。 我想在港口做工人的爺爺很難想像有一天他會有一個在加拿大出生的孫女回來家鄉唱歌。可惜我沒機會唱給他聽(他已經走了)。聽說那時候過的很辛苦。 我爸爸還分享他如何偷地刮胃了要生存。 我以前不太吃地瓜，不過最近常常吃(雖然感覺越來越不便宜。 為什麼? 因為上叱回加拿大我的爸爸天天(真得是天天!)都會誇耀蕃薯是如此好的食物。 不僅幫助消化，也可以抗癌! 我的父母每天造上都吃蒸的 地瓜。 其實我早上比較喜歡 吃花生醬和香蕉片在全麥土斯上。 不過最近發現處處都有賣各式各樣的地瓜。 我喜歡吃烤的或喝薑絲地瓜湯(線在震在喝)，是一個不錯的零食。

Have you had a good yam yet today?
你呢?今天吃了地瓜嗎?

For more information on yams: http://www.ncsweetpotatoes.com/cordell.htm
關於地瓜的營養成分 (中文):http://www.mikefarm.com/landmellon.htm

Pictures from 基隆

感激的藝術 - the art of being grateful

The art of being grateful

Last week I had to chance to partake in an art exhibition for ALS patients. It was both inspiring, but also frightening. Seeing people at different stages of this cruel illness really scared me…to know that my mother might one day walk down this path. It was more than I could bear hence I spent the entire afternoon trying to recover from a hopeless pain. On the other hand, what I witnessed amidst the artists that displayed their work was the same courage and will to live I have seen in my mother. This really inspired me. There was a photographer, a poet, an author and a painter.

上個禮拜我參加了一個漸凍人的藝術展，我被激勵到但同時也被嚇到了。看到這些病人都在這個殘酷的病的不同的階段，讓我很害怕。因為就想到是否有一天我的媽媽也會走這條路。這個畫面所產生的痛遠超過我可以承擔，而我整個下午的心情就down下去了。不過這些藝術家的勇氣及生命力讓我想到我媽媽也有著一樣的樂觀態度。那天有詩人，畫家，攝影師，及作家參展，他們令我很感動。

The painter is a woman who didn't start painting until she was diagnosed with ALS. Knowing that time was working against her she seized the opportunity to learn something she had never learned before, only to discover she had great talent. As the disease has progressed over the past few years she eventually lost the ability to paint with her paintbrush. However she did not allow this challenge to paralyze her. Instead she continued to paint using a mouse on a computer. Her paintings are beautiful and speak to the world that she sees.

特別感動到我的是那位畫家。她被診斷得病之後才開始學國畫，因為她知道時間會是個壓力，所以她很努力學習，而因此發現其實她很有才華。隨著她肌肉的萎縮他失去用筆作畫的能力，但她並沒有因此就放棄發揮她的靈感，她繼續用滑鼠在電腦上創作，而她的作品描述出她所看到的美麗世界。

That day at the art show she spoke (with the assistance of her daughter) of her gratitude for at least having the ability to use one finger left. Here is a woman we can all learn something from. She sits in a wheelchair unable to move. All she has left to help her communicate is her facial expression and the movement of one finger with which she can use a computer. Yet her eyes do not speak of despair or pain. While most of us watch her thinking how cruel life can be, I saw such an inspiring smile on her face. She knows she is using her life to inspire others, she knows she is fulfilling her potential, and perhaps her life purpose.

她那天透過她的女兒來分享，她很感激她還有一個手指可以讓她繼續畫畫。我們都可以向他學習！雖然她坐在輪椅上，也失去控制身體的能力了，唯一剩下來可以與世界溝通是她的表情和使她可以用電腦的那一個手指，但她的眼神表達出的卻不是憂鬱或無力感。看到她會覺得生命真的很殘酷，但她的笑容像光一般，照著希望。她知道她要用她的生命來激勵別人，她知道可以發揮她的潛力與生命的意義。

I think that is what each of us longs for more than anything else – the chance to express our life potential. It doesn't matter what we may succeed in, if it is not what we believe to be part of what we were made to do, something is left unsatisfied. I've read of many lawyers and doctors who succeeded at their respective professions yet felt unsatisfied with life because it was not their chosen calling. Rather it was the one most validated and encouraged, be it from family and friends or the monetary reward.

我想我們每一個人都渴望發揮出我們獨一無二的潛力。無論你是不是成功，如果不覺得是你該發揮的才華，就很難有滿足感。我看過很多書描述了很多醫生及律師都不滿足，因為他們的工作並不是他們的夢想，就算他們得到了家人，朋友，和金錢的肯定，還是不滿足。

What do you feel you were made to do? I think all of us are on a journey to discover the answer to this question. And when we find the answer is when light is emitted from our soul and our eyes…it's then that we really shine. That is the light I feel when I stand on stage singing and know I've built an emotional connection with my audience. It is also the light I saw in the painter with ALS. Her life really humbled me. I often feel unhappy or struggle with the difficulty of the path I've chosen. But who am I to complain when I have full function of my faculties and I have hope that I can keep growing in the direction of my dream. For her, the only prayer she has is to be able to retain control over the one finger she has left to use. From her we can all learn something about gratitude.

你覺得你與生俱來該發揮的才華是什麼？我想我們都在尋找這個答案的過程中。 當我們找到的時候，我們的靈魂和眼睛都會發光。我知道當我在台上唱歌感受到和觀眾有種心對心的對話，我就感受到我在發光。我也在這位畫家的眼睛裡看見了這種光芒。她的生命讓我謙虛下來，我常常會因為夢想實現的不順利而不開心。 但我憑什麼可以抱怨呢？我還有很多的希望，因為我還可以四肢健全地繼續往前行，而她只能到靠著僅存的一根指頭。從她的身上我們學到了感激。

For more information: www.mnda.org.tw

台北大學校慶

It was a fun albeit short gig at Taipei University yesterday. Everytime I practice or perform with my band I always feel so happy and grateful. 去年這個時候我還滿低潮因為那時候第一次很不順利的嚐試組樂團。 心裡充滿恐懼和無力感。 還好我沒放棄!

三峽是一個很美很開闊的地方。那裡的學生很信服可以在那樣的環境讀書。 不過有的時候我還是不是很習慣台灣人的保守。 我在唱歌時很難感覺到大家的新是否被音樂touch到。 但表演之後有及個熱情的學生來鼓勵我。 我也被啦啦隊的活力鼓勵到。他們真會跳!

一個精采的禮拜

過完了一個很豐富及累的禮拜我很開心的去回顧所發生的事。有的時候忙碌或優率會讓我們活的很沒深度或媒體會。當我有不安的感覺我會避面近下來去感受或回想。 但今天晚上的我不得不想一想。

當然發片是最難忘的一件事。 好多的感激和感動。 有太多人參與了我這條夢想的旅程。 有夢想的人都會有信心軟弱的時候，而那些幫你打氣度過挑戰的人就算只是一次的互動或一句話都很重要。 No dream can be accomplished alone. 但是同時很多的時刻你也只能靠自己的勇氣和堅持度過難關。 很像騎單車爬坡一樣: 有人在旁邊打氣會幫你真加力氣，但是沒有人可以幫你辛苦得流汗及接受生體的痠痛。 At the hardest moments, only you can decide whether or not to continue.

特別感動是我的好朋友所準備的surprise，也就是我家人鼓勵的錄音。 本來我們都有共識是我發片的時候我的媽媽一定會來台灣，但因為她的病我只能透過電話和她分享這個快了的時刻。 不過我很感激因為我知道他們是跟我一起慶祝。

昨天去參加了一個婚禮，很開心有機會唱歌鼓勵新人。 但是我必需承認這件事也挑戰到我的信心。 現在的女生都很獨立，有的事後我會忘記有dating的渴望。 但是每次參加婚禮就會再一次去想像我未來那一位先生會是什麼樣的人。 I have to admit I cried last night feeling a little hopeless. 但我同時也決定我在這方面要有更多的學習和信心。 I must have the courage to give my heart. 可能還沒發片的時候就比較容易不去想這一塊。

為了要安慰自己就去大賣場(my favorite thing to do) 而在那裡第一次看到我的CD 上架了! WOW!!! 好特別的感覺。 看到我和我妹妹的照片在中壢的唱片航是我無法形容的感覺。 I can only say: WOW!!!

So life has its ups and downs. Nothing is ever perfect, but we share this journey together. Thanks for sharing this victory with me!!!

Friday Night CD Release Party

從單車環島到辦記者會就把自己累倒了，所以這幾天在迷糊的發燒\狀態休息。 不過心理是很開心極感動因為記者會半的如此的溫馨。 我的好朋友幫我準備了很棒的 surprise，就是我家人鼓勵的話。我一聽到我爸爸的聲音眼淚就立刻開始流。 I am lucky to have such a great family!

再很忙和病的狀況下差一點忘記邀請大家來 小客廳 Friday Night, 也就是明天 (10月28日, 10pm): www.livingroomtaipei.com

我也會在那裡簽名呢。

Hope you can come and share this happy moment in my life!

Love,Lily

快要發片的心得

環島回來了幾天身體還是累和酸痛。不過心理很感激有那麼特別的機會及回憶。 每次我想到那些受刑人的眼神，看到他們如何渴望愛，也感到我的歌聲和分享有給他們一些他們渴望的盼望，我就很開心我第一次的巡迴是如此的 special。不過回來還是要面對很多的現實，就是要正式發唱片。心裡有許多的感觸。一方面很開心因為這一天終於到了。我所堅持的，我所流的許多的眼淚都不是白費的。 但是還是會害怕因為這些音樂的來源是我的心而，我要把他赤裸裸的獻給大家。 雖然心裡知道一定會有很多不同的聲音和反應，我不知道我能不能承擔這一切。 最現實的是經濟的考量。走獨立的路線我可以行銷的管道很有限，但是還是決定專心完成這個夢想而沒有接其他的工作。不過最近明白了一件事就是我是慢慢地建立我的夢想而不是被打出來或被捧出來。雖然這條路比較辛苦，但是總覺得比較踏實。假如有兩棟大樓在你面前，一個是很漂亮而是很快速的造出來的。另外一個沒那麼亮麗但它是慢慢地，一個磚頭一個磚頭蓋出來的。你會選擇住在哪一個？

To build my dream, I choose the second one.

(以上的照片是我在南台科技大學迎新會的表演)

Bill Clinton's Wisdom

I never thought very highly of Bill Clinton until I read the following quote from him...which left me inspired!

"You can't be impatient when things don't go your way overnight, when it may take 10 years, or 20 or 30 or a lifetime to make a difference. The bigger your hopes and dreams, the larger your pain.
"You have to be able to live with pain, you have to be able to live with humiliation.
"And I know a little bit about both.''

First CD sales for charity

Here is a picture of me and a 72 year old man dancing while I sang by the riverside in Kaosiung. He was a very encouraging audience member! (actually he is driving us around the island) He died his hair blond! What a funny guy and a great dancer.

Tomorrow I am going to visit a girl here in Kaoshiung who is both an angel and a hero. She has a rare disease that means she will only live to the age of 20. Her sister just passed away last year and she is fighting for her life on a regular basis. When her father discovered his daughters had such a terrible illness he deserted the family, leaving their mother with many challenges to bear alone, both emotionally and financially. Despite these challenges, this little girl, Yen Rou, always dedicates herself to her school work and has won many awards for her diligent attitude to life. However, even though she has had a lot of glory and praise, her and her mother are still financially challenged. Hence last night I sold my CD for charity. It was a vulnerable moment for me because there were moments I felt like nobody wanted to buy them. There I was standing on the stage looking at this audience and feeling like I put my heart on the line. The CD contains huge pieces of my heart and life and I was reaching out with it, not for myself but for someone else. Well, finally some people started buying and I felt very encouraged.

I will post pictures and share about meeting this little girl tomorrow. But I can tell you that just by knowing her story is already an inspiration. If you read this story and you feel a little moved, I will also find a way that you can help this little girl and her mother out too.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at all the problems in the world. There are so many, especially after hearing about the recent earthquake. But the danger of feeling overwhelmed is that we can often feel crippled and end up not taking any action at all. However I realize now that we do what we can do, and God does place many needs right in front of our eyes - which is our call to take action.

So, here is a girl in Kaoshiung who needs your help. Hope some of you can hear her needs...

Share more with you tomorrow.

In the mean time, after the super encouraging concert, I went to the Kaoshiung Liu He night market. It was DELICIOUS! I had seafood congee (without the rice)...so sweet! Red Bean Mien Mien Ice...it was so silky! AND Tu Tuo fish stew with rice vermicelli...superbly YUMMY! So I go to bed with a happy stomach and a happy heart. It was a great October 10th. Happy Birthday Taiwan.

Lily

PS. Thanks to Monica for your comments and postings...and thanks to Leo for coming out tonight and buying a CD.

Thoughts on prison...

Thoughts on prison...

Yesterday was my first time in prison. I was quite anxious before going in. I had no idea what the security would be like, I didn't know what the prisoners would be like, and was apprehensive about my performance.

The jail warden and officers were friendly and going into the prison was less of an ordeal than I expected it to be. We had to leave our cell phones outside, then we went through a metal detector and were further checked by an officer. Inside, the atmosphere seemed like a school. There was a nice pond and even a coffee area overlooking the pond. The only way I could tell we were in jail were the metal fences everywhere. The officers even addressed the inmates as "fellow students" (同學).

I stepped into the auditorium and peaked at the audience. There were 300 shaved heads wearing grey uniforms sitting in neatly organized rows. They weren't rowdy like I expected. Instead they seemed to be waiting patiently for the performance to begin.

When I stepped on stage to sing to them, what I saw was not inmates, rather the eyes of children looking for love and inspiration - hence this is what I tried to share with them.

Because I did not know what to expect, I had not prepared anything to say. In fact I was afraid that I would say something discouraging or inappropriate. But at the moment I stood on that stage and saw their eyes, I knew in my heart what I wanted to tell them - that they should look with hope and courage to their futures.

I thought about the last 3 years I've spent writing songs and declining most jobs in order to stay focused on my dreams. There have been times I've felt like a prisoner. The more time I spent away from the limelight the less confidence I had in what I was doing. I began to doubt my self worth. I think these inmates probably have similar fears. They don't know what their role will be in their families and society as a whole when they go out to meet the real world again.

In many ways, releasing this album and stepping back into the media for me is also like being released from prison. I have many fears that I need to keep fighting. For example, meeting with reporters, getting my picture taken, not wanting to define myself by all of this, yet also hoping for positive results. It has been a little overwhelming. Moreover I have begun to understand courage all the more, that it truly is about just stepping out on faith, even though you feel unprepared.

Life will never be perfect, so what we must do is believe in the beauty and potential that exists in all of this imperfection.

I'm not sure how much of all of this I was able to convey to the inmates at the Hsinchu jail. But I saw the look of hope and love in their eyes when I told them about fighting to fulfill your potential like a plant that fights through concrete - striving to become the tree it knows its meant to be.

It was a memorable first-time concert for me. I can only hope that I will be able to keep planting seeds of courage in the hearts of those I interact with along this tour.

Off We Go

jail pictures

我要出發了!

很難想像這個時候到了卻感覺很緊張。 Will I have a good message to share with the prisoners? Will people like my music? Will I be able to keep up with the riding team around the island? 很多的未知。 What I do know is that this is my dream and I want to share my heart, music and love with others! 很高興有這個機會。 Hope you can come out to Kaoshiung or Taichung...(希望有機會在高雄或台中見)!!!

I want to share these pictures with you for two reasons. The first picture is from the press conference we held to announce the beginning of my first tour. It is a special tour because not only will I be singing at malls, but also in PRISON!...I have to admit I'm kind of nervous about that. I'm also nervous about riding my bike around the island. I'm scared I'm not in good shape and will end up injuring myself...we shall see! But what is courage? It is accepting that we are afraid but stepping out on faith!

The second picture is from Jing Shan (金山). That is where I went 3 years ago after quitting ICRT to start my songwriting process. At that time all I had was a small recording device and some ideas. I had no idea what would come of it. I went back there last week to pray and think about the past 3 years. It really hasn't been an easy road...but it's been a great opportunity for me to learn about myself and grow as a person and as a musician.

So, HERE I GO!!! AND I hope you will join me! :-)

Lily C 演出行程表：

10/6 0800 單車環島出發儀式 法務部
10/6 1530 新竹監獄關懷活動 新竹監獄演唱
10/7 1900 愛與勇氣公益演唱會 台中德安百貨演唱
10/9 1900 愛與勇氣公益演唱會 高雄黃金愛河演唱
10/10 1400 愛與勇氣公益演唱會 高雄黃金愛河演唱
10/10 1900 愛與勇氣公益演唱會 高雄黃金愛河演唱
10/12 1500 台東監獄關懷活動 台東監獄演唱
10/14 1400 花蓮監獄關懷活動 花蓮監獄演唱
10/17 1400 台北光榮返回記者會 法務部

A New Beginning...

After leaving radio 3 years ago I am embarking on a new journey with music as my platform...