Thoughts on prison...Yesterday was my first time in prison. I was quite anxious before going in. I had no idea what the security would be like, I didn't know what the prisoners would be like, and was apprehensive about my performance.
The jail warden and officers were friendly and going into the prison was less of an ordeal than I expected it to be. We had to leave our cell phones outside, then we went through a metal detector and were further checked by an officer. Inside, the atmosphere seemed like a school. There was a nice pond and even a coffee area overlooking the pond. The only way I could tell we were in jail were the metal fences everywhere. The officers even addressed the inmates as "fellow students" (同學).
I stepped into the auditorium and peaked at the audience. There were 300 shaved heads wearing grey uniforms sitting in neatly organized rows. They weren't rowdy like I expected. Instead they seemed to be waiting patiently for the performance to begin.
When I stepped on stage to sing to them, what I saw was not inmates, rather the eyes of children looking for love and inspiration - hence this is what I tried to share with them.
Because I did not know what to expect, I had not prepared anything to say. In fact I was afraid that I would say something discouraging or inappropriate. But at the moment I stood on that stage and saw their eyes, I knew in my heart what I wanted to tell them - that they should look with hope and courage to their futures.
I thought about the last 3 years I've spent writing songs and declining most jobs in order to stay focused on my dreams. There have been times I've felt like a prisoner. The more time I spent away from the limelight the less confidence I had in what I was doing. I began to doubt my self worth. I think these inmates probably have similar fears. They don't know what their role will be in their families and society as a whole when they go out to meet the real world again.
In many ways, releasing this album and stepping back into the media for me is also like being released from prison. I have many fears that I need to keep fighting. For example, meeting with reporters, getting my picture taken, not wanting to define myself by all of this, yet also hoping for positive results. It has been a little overwhelming. Moreover I have begun to understand courage all the more, that it truly is about just stepping out on faith, even though you feel unprepared.
Life will never be perfect, so what we must do is believe in the beauty and potential that exists in all of this imperfection.
I'm not sure how much of all of this I was able to convey to the inmates at the Hsinchu jail. But I saw the look of hope and love in their eyes when I told them about fighting to fulfill your potential like a plant that fights through concrete - striving to become the tree it knows its meant to be.
It was a memorable first-time concert for me. I can only hope that I will be able to keep planting seeds of courage in the hearts of those I interact with along this tour.
過完了一個很豐富及累的禮拜我很開心的去回顧所發生的事。有的時候忙碌或優率會讓我們活的很沒深度或媒體會。當我有不安的感覺我會避面近下來去感受或回想。 但今天晚上的我不得不想一想。
