Thursday, November 16, 2006

11月17日 (五) 9pm Lily C 在 小客廳


Lily C & 新鮮空氣即將帶給大家一個新鮮的享受!
Something fresh is in the air…

星期五晚上來放輕鬆! 保證給你新的活力及好心情. 我們很榮幸有兩位非常有才華的樂手. 我們的音樂有一股新的力量,也有新歌和大家分享! Kick off the weekend with a relaxing night of music. We've got tunes to inspire and a new jazzy groove that will make you move! We are excited to welcome two super talented new band members to the mix adding a new energy. Look forward to some new takes on old songs as well as a new song preview.

New song preview新歌發表: “I am a bee” & “beware”
混合bossa, funk, afrikaan 及歐式民搖的輕鬆曲風
“I am a bee, I am a butterfly, I am a bird taking flight…”

歡迎新團員!
Roger王洛詰 – 知名爵士鼓手及老師
Martijn - 比利時爵士鍵盤及貝斯手

小客廳THE LIVING ROOM
11月17日 (五) 9pm Fri. Nov. 17
NANJING EAST ROAD, SEC. 5 No. 8, 3rd Fl.
小客廳: 南京東路五段8號3樓
Tel:8787-4154

For more information: www.lilyc.com, www.livingroomtaipei.com

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Lily C & 新鮮空氣 即將帶給大家一個新鮮的享受!

Lily C & 新鮮空氣 即將帶給大家一個新鮮的享受!
Something fresh is in the air…

讓我們在週日夜來放輕鬆,好開始新的一週 !保證給你新的活力及好心情我們很榮幸有兩位非常有才華的樂手加入我們讓我們的音樂有一股新的力量,也有新歌和大家分享!Come and relax before the week begins. We've got tunes to inspire and a new jazzy groove that will make you move! We are excited to welcome two super talented new band members to the mix adding a new energy. Look forward to some new takes on old songs as well as a new song preview.

New song preview 新歌發表 : "I am a bee"
混合 bossa, funk, 及 afrikaan 的輕鬆曲風
"I am a bee, I am a butterfly, I am a bird taking flight…"

歡迎新團員 !
Roger 王洛 – 知名爵士鼓手及老師
Martijn - 比利時爵士鍵盤及貝斯手

河岸留言 RIVERSIDE 11 月5日( 天) 9:30pm Sun. Nov. 5, 9:30pm
羅斯福路3段244 巷2號 B1Roosevelt Rd.. Sec. 3, Lane 244, No. 2, B1
Tel: 2368-7310

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

一個藍天的下午 An afternoon under the blue sky


我上週有機會和朋友去國父紀念館寫歌。 天氣很奇怪,有大太陽但同時有一陣一陣的毛毛雨而有一個角落有烏雲
Last week I had the time to sit down for an afternoon with a friend and write some songs at Sun Yet Sun Memorial Hall. The weather was very strange. Mostly it was sunny with sudden spurts of rain and a cloudy corner in the sky.

我通常都是一個人在家或在練團室寫歌。難得走出去。 坐在外面讓我感覺好像時間便慢了特別是我們沒有很明確的目標。 很輕鬆。
I usually write music alone in my room or in the band practice room where there are no windows. It was my first venture outside. It struck me that time feels very different when you are sitting outside without a fixed agenda. I felt very relaxed (a rare feeling in Taipei for me).

那天下午有兩個畫面讓我很感動。第一個是看到兩個老先生放又大又精采的風箏。 他們不是為了陪孫子而是自己在享受。 我從來沒看過老人家自己放風箏!
There are two images that shall remain fixed in my mind from that afternoon. Firstly, was the image of two old men flying extravagant kites. They were not taking care of their grandchildren, they were there alone, enjoying the wind and their kites. I never knew this could be a hobby for the elderly.

你上次放風箏是什麼時候? 我這幾個禮拜希望可以回味一下放風箏的樂趣!
When is the last time you flew a kite? I think that it's a goal of mine to do so in the next few weeks!

第二個讓我感動的畫面是在天空最黑的角落出現的美麗彩虹。 讓我想到有的時候生命最珍貴的禮物都是再我們的黑暗時期出現。 好天氣就很難有彩虹。 這提醒我要尋找我生命的彩虹在過去很艱難的一年。
The second image that remains fixed in my mind is a beautiful rainbow that suddenly appeared in the greyest and darkest corner of the sky. It was a very dramatic image and reminded me that sometimes the most beautiful things appear in the darkest parts of our life. Rainbows generally do not appear in perfectly clear weather. So for me, this is a reminder to find the rainbow in my life, even though it has not been an easy walk this past year.

你有看到你深命的彩虹嗎?
Did you see the rainbow in your life?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

武陵農場的好心情



我這幾天很開心可以到美麗的武陵農場. 我每天可以看到美麗的山, 水, 樹, 及花. 更讓我開心的是每天晚上有機會和許多遊客分享我的音樂, 夢想故事, 和我的心. 認識了很多很可愛的阿媽和阿公. 我很喜歡他們純浦的心. 他們對我音樂和分享的反應也讓我很感動!

昨天一個人走到魚池有機會看到一些正在逆遊的櫻花鉤吻鮭. 他們的努力鼓勵到我很多! 在走夢想的路總覺得好像必須跟社會的價值觀逆遊. 社會教我們要注重錢和成就甚過於夢想和愛. 但看到這些魚不斷的被水退下去而繼續前進就再一次提醒我,我選的這條路本來就是難走的. 同樣也會被大浪退下去,但我可以像那些魚繼續堅持. 它們知道必須克服這個難關才可以完成它們生命的使命. 這是我想學習的精神.

有些觀眾問我如何可以保持他們看到的熱情和樂觀. 我說這不是我的本性而是我必須每天努力學習的. 這裡路邊有很多花. 早上時他們都向著太陽的方向, 很可愛. 我們也可以從這些花學習把心和思考轉到樂觀的方向. 每天有許多的負面消息及聲音像瀑布般沖, 特別是現在的媒體文化. 所以要正面更是需要花一些努力和力氣. 很重要的是必許有一些有同樣的想發的好朋友, 彼此兼顧,彼此鼓勵才不會那麼辛苦. 你們所給我的鼓勵我很重視, 也很需要!

謝謝大家! 我們可以一起加油!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

What will you be like at 85?

What will you be like at 85?
你希望如何過八十五歲的生活?

I had the chance to do a concert at a family event last week at the Water Conservation Park. It was a lot of fun, even though it was very hot. The highlight of the show was getting encored and having a group of “older ladies” come up and join me in dancing to my newest dance song “Zoom Zoom”. These ladies could really move. The most inspiring one was the woman with the blue shirt. She couldn’t get enough dancing, even when her daughter tried to get her to sit down to rest. She stubbornly refused and kept dancing to the beat.

我有機會在自來水管的活動表演。 真的很好玩雖然很熱。 特別讓我感動是被encore 及有一群婆婆和我一起跳舞。 這些女人真會跳! 特別是穿藍色上衣的那位。 他不斷的跳雖然家屬想把他拉回座位。 他不願意而繼續發揮。

I was amazed to find out that she was 85 years old! I don’t know about you, but I picture 85 to be a time of rest and perhaps frailty. I certainly don’t picture someone who is lively and willing to get up and dance in front of a crowd. She really inspired me. Hopefully I’ll be just as crazy when I’m 85…maybe even when I’m 120!

不可相信他已經八十五歲了! 我以前認為八十五歲的人因該很氨的人因該很安靜,需要多休息,也許有點脆弱。 想像不到八十五歲還可以風俇地在觀眾前發揮活力。 他真的讓我感動。 希望我八十五歲,甚至120歲也可以像他一樣風俇!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Perfect Moments
















再不完美的情況我們卻找到完美的快樂. 雖然媽媽生了很可怕的病但看到我們家庭之間的互動突破了許多. 我們很用心創造了很多寶貴的回意. 相信我們的愛和信心會帶來奇蹟. 請大家替我們禱告! I believe in the power of prayer.

Friday, August 11, 2006

2 Months Later...

It's been over 2 months since I last posted. During this time I spent 6 weeks in Canada with my dear family, went to Mexico for lots of gluttony and baking in the sun, participated in a songwriting workshop at Humber College, then came back to Taiwan, did a photoshoot for Palmolive (see my website www.lilyc.com), then took part in two military style workshops back to back, one on jazz singing and the other on broadway performance(http://www.taipeijazz.com/).

I had a very intense experience in Canada emotionally dealing with my mother's illness which has once again been categorized as ALS (http://www.mnda.org.tw/, www.als.ca). In fact I even went to a therapist to help me deal with the progression of my mother's deterioration. He reminded me to stop living in fear of dying but to focus on living which helped me a lot. It also helped to be reminded to cry out my feelings rather than forcing myself to be happy and helpful all the time. So after some gut-wrenching tears, and a month of prayers I do believe I have found peace, space and hope in my heart that was not there before my trip. There were moments when I felt like I was screaming inside from trying to deny the circumstances, but acceptance can be very freeing.

Talking to my mom lately on the phone I do feel encouraged to hear her speaking more clearly than when I was in Canada due to some new accupuncture treatments. I also found a touch therapist provided by a hospice society which has also encouraged my mom. So I am reminded to look at the blessings of the circumstances rather than what sometimes feels like a timebomb that's going to take away her life. I see the fruits of all of this suffering including closer family relationships and the time we've taken to be with each other including going to Mexico, Cuba and Algonquin park. I think I have more closeness and sweet memories with my family than some people will have in their lifetime.

The past two weeks spent in workshops was intense and exhausting, but also exciting. I widened my singing repetoire to include broadway and jazz tunes and am about to attempt my first jazz gig this Sunday night. I think the best feeling we can all experience is when we grow. It can only come with hard work and cannot be bought. I loved singing 8 hours a day and being challenged to grow by great teachers who were flown in from around the world. Living amidst people who love music and performing was also inspiring and comforting. I was especially inspired by Chee-bing and Kaiya, a super talented jazz couple (he's a violinist, she's a pianist) that have made it their mission to bring music education and enjoyment to Taiwan.

Sometimes living among "normal" people can be challenging just because it is difficult to be relatable. That said, I am super grateful for the "normal" people who are a part of my life and hence part of my adventure. I know it takes a lot of patience and understanding.

There is so much to share, but I don't want to write a novel here...so I'll just write in short bits...but just wanted to record my recent state of mind and heart as I am more hopeful and positive than I have been over the past year so I want to remember and savor these moments.

Love and peace,
Lily C

PS: I am very proud of my sister who struck out on her own to plan a backpacking trip in Europe all by her lonesome. You can read about her adventures at: http://theanneplan.blogspot.com

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Share the dream journey together...

堅持夢想的路有的時候覺得很漫長,但收到大家的回應和鼓勵提醒了我堅持的價值不是建立在成不成功,而是在我們如此可以在過程中彼此分享和鼓勵。透過收到的留言和e-mail給我加了很寶貴的油!

我透過這個經歷也找到一個新的信念讓我更有勇氣。 在媒體中有許多"完美"的藝人。 他們的存在很容易讓我們給自己錯誤的"完美"標準。所以我可以很不完美的分享堅持和學習進步的過程是一個很寶貴的機會! 希望你有被激勵到!

Lily C

Thursday, May 25, 2006

我快沒有臉了!


我快沒有臉了! 上週再沒有任何心理或實際的準備下上了最近很紅的 “快樂星期天”…真的不快樂! 其實從來沒看過這個節目,只知道有人因為被批評的很慘而得到憂鬱症。 我第一步就作了錯的決定就是選了一首台語歌 “望春風” 因為想可以用自己的方式唱…沒唱幾斷就因為咬子被喊停! 哇!站在那裡被挑剔是一件很不容易的事。 好想找一個洞讓我可以脫離殘酷的陷阱。 不過裁判還算對我還不錯,給了我兩次加分的機會…只是因為緊張及不充足的準備而對自己是非常的不滿! 在場的樂團很努力搭配我自己的歌但感覺和合弦讓我卡住,不過還是勇敢的完成了那個悲劇!

我想最讓我難過的是我知道我可以做的更好!

這次的經歷讓我回想到第一次主持廣播也出了大搝! 我忘了關mic而尖叫了 “救命” 因為電腦出了我不熟悉的問題。 那時候的主管就跑進studio不斷的揮手。 我不懂為什麼他不立刻解決我的問題而跳那麼誇張的舞。 後來明白他不斷的指出再量的紅燈代表麥克風還是開的。 我的臉就變了紫色。 我那時也考慮直接搭飛機回加拿大! 不過就吃了humble pie 繼續磨練自己。

我也想到第一次再河岸留言唱歌。 因為太緊張所以走音走的很嚴重。 我之後的女孩唱的好好。 我就更灰心覺得自己的夢想沒價值。 淋著雨走回家就更著與聲哭了一整晚! 但過了一個禮拜有鼓起勇氣回到那個舞台。雖然還是有走音但是有進步,應此信心也真加了才會有今天的我還可以唱兩個set!

每件事都有過程。 追求夢想也要勇敢的跌倒接受自己的不完美。 跌到就要再站起來拍拍屁股往前走。

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

可以笑...好開心

終於有可以笑的時間! 上個週末和老朋友聚會讓我脫離的了最近的黑雲。 我笑到嘴巴都痠咯! 因該是因為很久沒有用笑的肌肉。 It felt really good!

我們樂團還有三個表演我就要回加拿大看家人! 非常期待因為很珍惜可以在一起的時間! 希望大家不要等到家人生病才懂得珍惜! 要把握!

最近很想寫一手開心可以跳舞的歌但寫不太出來。 也許這次回家有開心的時間才會有靈感。 以下是我為阿姨的追師禮拜寫的歌:

Goodbye 不是永遠

瀝瀝的雨滴
喚醒所有的回憶
沿著淚水到谷底,呼喊你的名
劃破山裡的寂靜,等待你的回應

神密的精靈
飛翔夢中的森林
聽到傷心的哭泣,帶來安慰的魔力
在溪邊聽水的方言
叫回所有的記憶

Oh goodbye is not forever
Goodbye不是永遠
想念經歷過的一切
Goodbye 不是永遠

Goodbye不是永遠,Goodbye只是今天
捨不得要`失去妳,暫時的分離
期待等待那美好一天
可以再重逢再見面

Monday, May 01, 2006

to my precious aunt - passed away April 25th 5:25pm

Last Breath, Last Dance

you danced your dance, and I danced mine
our lives and stories entertwined.
your love was a light
touching all those blessed to be in your realm.

your gift was your heart always flowing,
cleansing us with your love and faith
reminding us that we are all precious and worthy...
in your light we were so graced

you never spoke of your needs
or regrets stored in long forgotten rooms
instead you seized love, seized life
dancing your way ever so vibrantly.

so we took this last dance
painfully watching you fade away

in courage, faith and love
you sustained us as the music played out.
giving us every last ounce of yourself
that we who are left could love, heal and bind.

this was your last gift, your most precious dance
we begged and pleaded with fate for one more chance
but you had already chosen, taken your stand
and you spoke with your heartbeat,
your love and cherished memories

i ache at the empty space before me, where we used to dance
i take empty steps forward, rhythm fades out with the passage of time.
in my dreams you come back, with wings of crystal lace
a new dance to the heavens, a new angel filled with grace.

so i watched your last breath, last dance, my comfort is the hope that one day
we will laugh at all we could not understand in this pain
in this foolish life, there is hope that sustains
in heaven we will meet again.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

A pleasant surprise 開心的驚喜

終於找到一些力量面臨這一切而開時可以睡好一點. 我看一本書建議我們要選正面的比喻看待生命。 生命是一場遊戲或戰爭? 杳選適合你的比喻。 我最近再重一些花及香料就體會到生命像一個花園。 我們必須努力但是天氣和太陽不在我們的掌握。 農夫不會每天為他傻的種子失眠。 他們會一天好好的努力而睡的好。 我學習這種平安針對我的家人和我的夢想。 我一步一步做我可以的。 其他只能交給神。
I've finally started sleeping better and am learning to ride the waves. I read that it is important to use positive metaphors to see our life. Is life a game or a war? Depends which metaphor works for you. Lately I've been planting some flowers and spices on my balcony and I see that life is like a garden. We do what we can do, but when it comes to sunshine and weather conditions, there is still a lot left to chance. But farmers don't spend all night worrying about their crops. They go to sleep content at having done a good days work. I think I'm learning to have that kind of peace, both with respect to loving my family and in terms of my dreams. I'm doing what I can, bit by bit. The rest is up to God.

一個開心的驚喜是我的通學買了一張我得CD,下課請我簽名。 我都沒告訴同學我有出CD,我真的很surprise! 好像天使一般被上帝派下來告訴我"繼續加油...妳不是孤單的" 所以在這爺享謝謝大家的支持。 我是十分的感動。 我一定會加油!
One pleasant surprise was when a classmate came up to me after class and pulled out my CD from his backpack. I was so honored to sign that CD and it really was like an angel sent by God to say, "Hey! I'm still here....keep going!" So thank you to that classmate and all of you who have supported me. It does mean so much to me!

Monday, April 17, 2006

在長大中 Growing Up!







長大就必須面對生老病死。 面對死亡才會發現生命的美及重要性。 我最近試著發現我阿姨的病所產生的禮物。 我這幾個禮拜有許多與外婆和表妹有親密的時間及對話,甚過我來到台灣那麼多年。
Growing up means to be at peace with living and dying…and when we face death we really learn the importance and beauty of life. These days I'm learning not to look negatively at my aunt's tragedy, but at the gift she has given us. I have had more heart to heart talks with my grandmother and cousin these past few weeks than all my years in Taiwan combined.

在挫折時我們學習把真心拿出來依靠彼此。 我試著一個禮拜和外婆吃3到4餐因為他看著親愛的女兒躺在那裡,食慾不好。我可以感覺我們越來越親。 前幾天他握著我的手,苗小的他就全身靠著我。 感到很溫馨及感動。 我知道她感覺到可以一靠我面對這一切。 我也很榮幸可以陪她。
When we go through hard times together we learn to bring out our hearts and share them with each other. I try to eat with my grandmother 3-4 times a week because I hope she can have a good appetite despite the challenge of seeing her beloved daughter in a coma. I feel us growing closer everyday. The other day I was holding her hand and I could feel her lean on me with her small body. It felt so warm and wonderful. I know she feels she can count on me in these times of trouble and I am so glad I can be here for her.

所以雖然這一切都不是我希望會發生的事,但有許多禮物可以發現,我也感覺我一天比一天堅強。 感謝我有神,我的信仰,及許多的朋友協助我在挑戰中!
So even though many of these troubles are things I wish never happened, there are many gifts to discover and%

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

What Happened Lately?...太多事!

很久沒分享自己的心情…人再面對挑戰時不是很想坐下來體會心請避免兆成更多的難過。 不過有一位很可愛的女生叫Mavis星期天有來河岸留言鼓勵我。 她也提醒我blog快冷掉了。 What happened lately? 很難過的是我很寶貝的阿姨腦幹中風而現在在加護病房重度昏迷的狀態。 我的心情是成重的。 媽媽的病也還沒有一個明確的治療方向,每天只能不斷的為我愛的人禱告。

我的時間分配在鼓勵和陪伴婆婆和表弟妹,照顧媽媽的心情,也錄了一些鼓勵的CD不斷的放給阿姨聽。 有些人說沒希望了,但每次唱歌給她聽他的血壓就往上爬。 幾個禮拜下來也不知道能盼望什麼。 這個感覺很難形容。 中風的前一天很開心的看到阿姨,兩天後只能和她睡覺的樣子互動。 看到表弟妹的難過也再一次提醒我要把握機會珍惜和表達愛給身旁的人。 你永遠不知到什麼時候就沒雞會。 我的表弟很遺憾他從小時候就沒吻媽媽的臉…到現在才發揮心理的愛。也希望這些分享能讓一些人省悟。

不過也有好消息(要不然我就倒下去了!)…我又繼續學中文了,也因為Lili的介紹開時在文化大學學音樂編曲。 可以學東西是我每個禮拜的盼望。 這段時間也和表妹成為更親的關係,讓我很感動。 所以無論多挑戰,任何事裡面還是有可以發現的寶。

Monday, February 20, 2006

It's been a while...


最近有個朋友問我發片之後有什麼樣的想法,我就發現這幾個月忙著誠品的巡迴加上回家那麼長的時間害我沒機會靜下來思拷這個問題。 我很久沒留言的原因是我正在做今年的計畫及花一些時間聽內心的話。 因為還有很多的未知心情友一些挑戰。 不過目前大部分的時間都花在練唱,寫新歌及運動。 發現從感恩節到聖誕節到新年加上回加拿大的享受,農曆年許多的搭餐和去高雄和台南的小吃...well當然胖了! 走路時就真加了蒟蒻擺動的感覺。 坦白說看到體重就有一點小負面。不過當我想到 每一口開心的時刻我就決定這一切都值得! 生命不是就是要享受這些嗎?

A friend asked me the other day, how do I feel after releasing my first album? The past few months have been a bit of a whirlwind with the Eslite tour and then going home for such a long period of time. I haven't written in so long because I've been doing some introspection and planning for the next few months. There are some discussions going on as to what will happen next, but in the mean time there's nothing better than practicing singing, writing music and getting to the gym! Unfortunately (or fortunately the endless flow of fine food from Thanksgiving to Christmas, to New Years, to eating in Canada, to Chinese New Year, to travelling to Kaoshiung and Tainan)...well it's meant some extra jiggle in my figure...making me more womanly, but not that healthy. I have to admit seeing the scale was not a happy moment for me. But then I thought about all the INCREDIBLE meals I've had these past few months and I realized..."IT WAS ALL WORTH IT...EVERY SINGLE BITE!" Who wants to live a life of deprivation?

The good news is that my mom tested positive for Lyme disease which means there is hope she may respond to treatment! The past month has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster because she started getting worse after taking the medication. I had many nights of nightmares. But the past week she said her strength is improving a little bit. Amidst all of this I've learned that control is just an illusion in our lives. We want to control things by our efforts, and it often looks like we are in control. However, there are always situations in life that humble us and make us realize that all we can do is decide how we will live this moment.

To me that means really appreciating my time in Taiwan. To be honest I have thought about moving home quite a few times since my mom's illness set in. And while I haven't fully made a decision yet, in the mean time I talk to her on the phone almost every other day and I'm also making the most of my time here by staying in close contact with my grandmother who recently celebrated ther 76th birthday. We went to a Fuzhou restaurant with 8 women she met at church. It was a touching party because at her age I think it is rare for women to have close friends. They usually just stay within their families or marriages. However, here are a group of women who get together weekly and get involved with each other through thick and thin. That was so touching. They wrote cards and bought presents for her. She glowed with happiness, like a little girl. I don't think she ever had a birthday like that before. I am so grateful she has found this group of friends.

Oh yeah, back to my album...well at first when I released it I could barely listen to it. I was afraid to hear its imperfections, which undoubtedly there are due to limitations in our production budget. But as I toured around with it I had no choice but to listen to it more and more and the cool thing is that it really grew on me. I can hear my heart and what it is trying to convey. I hear the perseverance in my dream and my songs can really encourage me when I'm feeling down. I shared with a friend the other day that writing and singing is really my therapy. So songs like "Happy Day" and "Forget About Cinderella" pick me up when I'm feeling a little down. "Starry Love" makes me imagine what it will be like to take a stroll with the one I live (when I meet him), and "Perfect Moment" capture what I remember love to taste like.

I'm proud of myself for staying true to my heart and my music. When you hear my album you will hear my true feelings and perspective on life. To that end, my heros are Alanis Morrisette, Jewel and Sarah McLachlan who have stayed true to their course as well. It's not easy, especially in Taiwan where the environment is not conducive to this type of music...yet...I'm hoping I can help start a revolution. Will you join me?

Saturday, January 21, 2006

如何樂觀

Here is part of a letter I received through email which I would like to share with you...

"Whenever I see you , I can feel you are always very happy , and optimistic. I'm so admire you have thins kind of personality.
Can you tell me how to be a happy person without catch a friend or lover(I think I always depend on friendship and lover to give me happyness, but catch closer will lost much.) On the other hand, I never like myself, I don't why........, I think if I can do something than I will happy,but I still weren't happy if I reach the goal.
I hope I could happy and optimistic as you, and share others my happyness rather than share bad story to them. Would you give me some advises? Thank you."

Wow! I never thought someone would say I was optimistic. In fact I have a friend who told me he felt I was not very happy based on reading my website. It just goes to show you how different people's perspectives can be....which is really the key to happiness. PERSPECTIVE (態度或角度) We are like ships. We cannot change our external environment. The weather can change. There will be sunny days, cloudy days, windy days, clear days, stormy days etc...That is similar to life. But we can chart a goal and a direction and make sure our ship is in good order. So there are three things we must do:

  1. Accept we cannot change what is happening outside. It may be good or bad. That is life.
  2. Make sure our ship is in good shape by taking care of ourselves, making sure we are in good health and good spirits. Get good rest, exercise and eat healthy. Learn to grow in maturity and heal the parts of you that need to be healed so your ship is in order and ready to take on the adventure that life can be.
  3. Know where you want to go (rather than sailing aimlessly) while maintaining flexibility to accept that there will be detours and you may have to change destinations depending on outside circumstances.
To tell you the truth it takes me a lot of effort to be optimistic. I am not naturally that way. I have a sensitive heart and need to spend lots of time writing alone to make sense of my feelings and interactions with the world. However another part of being happy is having a healthy expectation for life. I do not believe that happiness is built on achieving goals. Goal achievements are moments that pass by quickly. However growth and the adventure of going after your goals is what is meaningful and priceless. Hence adjusting your PERSPECTIVE and EXPECTATION so that you can appreciate what is happening in the moment. Appreciate the people around you, the growth you are experiencing in your life, even the challenges you are in the process of overcoming.

More importantly, we cannot do any of this alone. I have several important friends who keep me going along the way. My dream for sharing my heart through music has not been an easy road to take. Many people have strongly discouraged me from taking this path. But I have friends who encourage me when I fall down (like singing off key in front of thousands of people) and keep me going on my bad days. It's okay to share your bad feeling with friends.

I am an emotional person with many ups and downs. I can experience intense happiness and sadness in the span of one hour. Rather than working hard to change this, I'm learning to accept that this is a part of who I am as an artist and creator. This intensity fuels my creations. At the same time I am also learning to not repress myself which creates more tension and stress.

AND, when there is nobody there to hug or encourage me, when life is not going the way I wish it would, or when I feel empty or that things are meaningless, I go back to my faith in God. I read the Bible and I pray for comfort and answers. I am lucky to have a great church where I have learned so much about living with a good friend who is always present, which is God!

Dear friend, though you feel sad right now. I hope you know that these pangs are an important part of growth. Learning to feel what you feel is not easy. Most people just get busier, make more goals or go out and party with lots of people to numb the pain. I too have had many struggles to love and accept who I am instead of changing myself to become some perfect ideal which is impossible.

I do have one piece of homework I would like you to do, which I did for a few months last year, that is write 3 encouraging things about yourself. For example 1. I smiled at a stranger today. 2. I wore green which looks good on me. 3. I gave my sister a big hug today.

Do this every night before you go to sleep and you will be amazed at how much you will love yourself more. It is not easy to change your outlook over night. BUT with effort everyday, step by step you will start to feel a difference!

I do have one praise for you: YOU BRAVELY SOUGHT HELP! That is a great thing to do. I am proud of you.

Love and best wishes,
Lily C

A Delicious Day!


This was what I ate for breakfast yesterday. It was truly a perfect day. The weather was balmy and warm for January. My sister took a day off work so we could have "Sister Bonding Day" which is very important to us because we live so far apart.

I will be back on a plane next week to return to Taipei and I am beginning to feel homesick already! That said, I am also excited about returning to Taiwan to continue sharing my music and also to celebrate Chinese New Year!!!

Anne and I had a delicious day from a scrumptious brunch, to an afternoon at the
Distillery District where we ate heavenly chocolate that melted on our tonuges from Soma Chocolate. They hand make their chocolate and blend different kinds with the precision and design of artists! It was wonderful to see people approach making chocolate as a craft.

Afterwards, we shopped around at St. Lawrence Market where we did more food shopping! I don't know if it's because we're Chinese or if it's because of our Cheng genes, but my sister and I both LOVE food! Our entire day comprised of mostly exploring and trying new foods.

We also shopped along Queen St. West. Whereas I used to love Queen St. East because of it's eclectic mix of mainstream, vintage and unique shops, it has become overly commercial over the years and Queen West is where all the unique stores have moved. Although one thing I realized is that although I like the "bohemian look" because of the hippy in me, it is actually quite expensive when it is done in designer clothing. Tie-dye and ripped jeans may have been staples of activists of old, but these days, trying to look "John Lennon" is very expensive, which is kind of an oxymoron if you think about it. Trying to look like you are "grassroots" and down to earth, but paying designer prices...well it's just not something I can afford to do...nor do I agree with it necessarily.

That said...if I weren't a "struggling artist" perhaps I would indulge a little bit in this area. But for now window shopping was enough to satisfy! Albeit I did invest in some real vintage from a cute little store called Cabaret Vintage. The clothes there are hand selected from the 40s and 50s and I realized how much more effort they put into sewing and design of clothes from that time as opposed to these days where everything is mass produced without the attention to detail.

When our hunger returned we ended up finding a cute little restaurant called Pomegranate which serves Persian food. It was a great taste adventure because of all the spices they use. We had vegetarian caviar (made out of an olive paste), and rice cooked with fresh dill, saffron and fava beans. I cannot describe how great it is to discover new flavors.

We ended the day at a bakery where we indulged in a Portugese egg tart with filo pastry and a sponge cake topped with egg custard. Unfortunately I also indulged in a coffee which is why I'm up so early in the morning today!

It was a beautiful day and I cherish not just the food we ate, but the time we spent as sisters. We talked about where we are in our lives and what we'd like to see happen in 2006. It was also great that we didnt' have a plan (which is highly unusual for me being a control freak). Instead we "went with the flow" and the flow was good.

It is difficult to imagine where both of us will be a year from now. My sister is also at a crossroads in her life and making some big decisions. While we plan and wait for some things to happen, we also feel our lives even more uncertain because of my mom's illness. It is difficult to make plans when ther is a piece of your heart that is not fully at rest because it worries about someone so important.

My mom has been taking medication, but there has not been a significant improvement yet. In fact, it has caused some degradation which makes us all a little uneasy. I do believe this is a reminder to love her more, as love is truly the best medicine. My mom is a real trooper and I admire her optimism and courage SO MUCH!

It's been an intense "vacation" here in Canada. I have learned a lot more about myself and I had some good opportunities to reconnect with friends.

What will 2006 bring?

I believe it will be beyond my imagination. Hence just like I enjoyed the flow of living without a concrete plan on this wonderful "Sister Bonding Day" I hope I can also do the same for this year!



Monday, January 02, 2006

Home Sweet Home

為了要逃避都市的忙碌我們全家開了三個小時住在一個有廚房和璧爐的cabin。我們從來沒有鬆天的時候往北開而發現那裡的風景很美! 我們不斷的拍照因為每個角落都好美。

It is a lovely family time together!