Saturday, January 21, 2006

如何樂觀

Here is part of a letter I received through email which I would like to share with you...

"Whenever I see you , I can feel you are always very happy , and optimistic. I'm so admire you have thins kind of personality.
Can you tell me how to be a happy person without catch a friend or lover(I think I always depend on friendship and lover to give me happyness, but catch closer will lost much.) On the other hand, I never like myself, I don't why........, I think if I can do something than I will happy,but I still weren't happy if I reach the goal.
I hope I could happy and optimistic as you, and share others my happyness rather than share bad story to them. Would you give me some advises? Thank you."

Wow! I never thought someone would say I was optimistic. In fact I have a friend who told me he felt I was not very happy based on reading my website. It just goes to show you how different people's perspectives can be....which is really the key to happiness. PERSPECTIVE (態度或角度) We are like ships. We cannot change our external environment. The weather can change. There will be sunny days, cloudy days, windy days, clear days, stormy days etc...That is similar to life. But we can chart a goal and a direction and make sure our ship is in good order. So there are three things we must do:

  1. Accept we cannot change what is happening outside. It may be good or bad. That is life.
  2. Make sure our ship is in good shape by taking care of ourselves, making sure we are in good health and good spirits. Get good rest, exercise and eat healthy. Learn to grow in maturity and heal the parts of you that need to be healed so your ship is in order and ready to take on the adventure that life can be.
  3. Know where you want to go (rather than sailing aimlessly) while maintaining flexibility to accept that there will be detours and you may have to change destinations depending on outside circumstances.
To tell you the truth it takes me a lot of effort to be optimistic. I am not naturally that way. I have a sensitive heart and need to spend lots of time writing alone to make sense of my feelings and interactions with the world. However another part of being happy is having a healthy expectation for life. I do not believe that happiness is built on achieving goals. Goal achievements are moments that pass by quickly. However growth and the adventure of going after your goals is what is meaningful and priceless. Hence adjusting your PERSPECTIVE and EXPECTATION so that you can appreciate what is happening in the moment. Appreciate the people around you, the growth you are experiencing in your life, even the challenges you are in the process of overcoming.

More importantly, we cannot do any of this alone. I have several important friends who keep me going along the way. My dream for sharing my heart through music has not been an easy road to take. Many people have strongly discouraged me from taking this path. But I have friends who encourage me when I fall down (like singing off key in front of thousands of people) and keep me going on my bad days. It's okay to share your bad feeling with friends.

I am an emotional person with many ups and downs. I can experience intense happiness and sadness in the span of one hour. Rather than working hard to change this, I'm learning to accept that this is a part of who I am as an artist and creator. This intensity fuels my creations. At the same time I am also learning to not repress myself which creates more tension and stress.

AND, when there is nobody there to hug or encourage me, when life is not going the way I wish it would, or when I feel empty or that things are meaningless, I go back to my faith in God. I read the Bible and I pray for comfort and answers. I am lucky to have a great church where I have learned so much about living with a good friend who is always present, which is God!

Dear friend, though you feel sad right now. I hope you know that these pangs are an important part of growth. Learning to feel what you feel is not easy. Most people just get busier, make more goals or go out and party with lots of people to numb the pain. I too have had many struggles to love and accept who I am instead of changing myself to become some perfect ideal which is impossible.

I do have one piece of homework I would like you to do, which I did for a few months last year, that is write 3 encouraging things about yourself. For example 1. I smiled at a stranger today. 2. I wore green which looks good on me. 3. I gave my sister a big hug today.

Do this every night before you go to sleep and you will be amazed at how much you will love yourself more. It is not easy to change your outlook over night. BUT with effort everyday, step by step you will start to feel a difference!

I do have one praise for you: YOU BRAVELY SOUGHT HELP! That is a great thing to do. I am proud of you.

Love and best wishes,
Lily C

A Delicious Day!


This was what I ate for breakfast yesterday. It was truly a perfect day. The weather was balmy and warm for January. My sister took a day off work so we could have "Sister Bonding Day" which is very important to us because we live so far apart.

I will be back on a plane next week to return to Taipei and I am beginning to feel homesick already! That said, I am also excited about returning to Taiwan to continue sharing my music and also to celebrate Chinese New Year!!!

Anne and I had a delicious day from a scrumptious brunch, to an afternoon at the
Distillery District where we ate heavenly chocolate that melted on our tonuges from Soma Chocolate. They hand make their chocolate and blend different kinds with the precision and design of artists! It was wonderful to see people approach making chocolate as a craft.

Afterwards, we shopped around at St. Lawrence Market where we did more food shopping! I don't know if it's because we're Chinese or if it's because of our Cheng genes, but my sister and I both LOVE food! Our entire day comprised of mostly exploring and trying new foods.

We also shopped along Queen St. West. Whereas I used to love Queen St. East because of it's eclectic mix of mainstream, vintage and unique shops, it has become overly commercial over the years and Queen West is where all the unique stores have moved. Although one thing I realized is that although I like the "bohemian look" because of the hippy in me, it is actually quite expensive when it is done in designer clothing. Tie-dye and ripped jeans may have been staples of activists of old, but these days, trying to look "John Lennon" is very expensive, which is kind of an oxymoron if you think about it. Trying to look like you are "grassroots" and down to earth, but paying designer prices...well it's just not something I can afford to do...nor do I agree with it necessarily.

That said...if I weren't a "struggling artist" perhaps I would indulge a little bit in this area. But for now window shopping was enough to satisfy! Albeit I did invest in some real vintage from a cute little store called Cabaret Vintage. The clothes there are hand selected from the 40s and 50s and I realized how much more effort they put into sewing and design of clothes from that time as opposed to these days where everything is mass produced without the attention to detail.

When our hunger returned we ended up finding a cute little restaurant called Pomegranate which serves Persian food. It was a great taste adventure because of all the spices they use. We had vegetarian caviar (made out of an olive paste), and rice cooked with fresh dill, saffron and fava beans. I cannot describe how great it is to discover new flavors.

We ended the day at a bakery where we indulged in a Portugese egg tart with filo pastry and a sponge cake topped with egg custard. Unfortunately I also indulged in a coffee which is why I'm up so early in the morning today!

It was a beautiful day and I cherish not just the food we ate, but the time we spent as sisters. We talked about where we are in our lives and what we'd like to see happen in 2006. It was also great that we didnt' have a plan (which is highly unusual for me being a control freak). Instead we "went with the flow" and the flow was good.

It is difficult to imagine where both of us will be a year from now. My sister is also at a crossroads in her life and making some big decisions. While we plan and wait for some things to happen, we also feel our lives even more uncertain because of my mom's illness. It is difficult to make plans when ther is a piece of your heart that is not fully at rest because it worries about someone so important.

My mom has been taking medication, but there has not been a significant improvement yet. In fact, it has caused some degradation which makes us all a little uneasy. I do believe this is a reminder to love her more, as love is truly the best medicine. My mom is a real trooper and I admire her optimism and courage SO MUCH!

It's been an intense "vacation" here in Canada. I have learned a lot more about myself and I had some good opportunities to reconnect with friends.

What will 2006 bring?

I believe it will be beyond my imagination. Hence just like I enjoyed the flow of living without a concrete plan on this wonderful "Sister Bonding Day" I hope I can also do the same for this year!



Monday, January 02, 2006

Home Sweet Home

為了要逃避都市的忙碌我們全家開了三個小時住在一個有廚房和璧爐的cabin。我們從來沒有鬆天的時候往北開而發現那裡的風景很美! 我們不斷的拍照因為每個角落都好美。

It is a lovely family time together!