Sunday, August 13, 2006

Perfect Moments
















再不完美的情況我們卻找到完美的快樂. 雖然媽媽生了很可怕的病但看到我們家庭之間的互動突破了許多. 我們很用心創造了很多寶貴的回意. 相信我們的愛和信心會帶來奇蹟. 請大家替我們禱告! I believe in the power of prayer.

Friday, August 11, 2006

2 Months Later...

It's been over 2 months since I last posted. During this time I spent 6 weeks in Canada with my dear family, went to Mexico for lots of gluttony and baking in the sun, participated in a songwriting workshop at Humber College, then came back to Taiwan, did a photoshoot for Palmolive (see my website www.lilyc.com), then took part in two military style workshops back to back, one on jazz singing and the other on broadway performance(http://www.taipeijazz.com/).

I had a very intense experience in Canada emotionally dealing with my mother's illness which has once again been categorized as ALS (http://www.mnda.org.tw/, www.als.ca). In fact I even went to a therapist to help me deal with the progression of my mother's deterioration. He reminded me to stop living in fear of dying but to focus on living which helped me a lot. It also helped to be reminded to cry out my feelings rather than forcing myself to be happy and helpful all the time. So after some gut-wrenching tears, and a month of prayers I do believe I have found peace, space and hope in my heart that was not there before my trip. There were moments when I felt like I was screaming inside from trying to deny the circumstances, but acceptance can be very freeing.

Talking to my mom lately on the phone I do feel encouraged to hear her speaking more clearly than when I was in Canada due to some new accupuncture treatments. I also found a touch therapist provided by a hospice society which has also encouraged my mom. So I am reminded to look at the blessings of the circumstances rather than what sometimes feels like a timebomb that's going to take away her life. I see the fruits of all of this suffering including closer family relationships and the time we've taken to be with each other including going to Mexico, Cuba and Algonquin park. I think I have more closeness and sweet memories with my family than some people will have in their lifetime.

The past two weeks spent in workshops was intense and exhausting, but also exciting. I widened my singing repetoire to include broadway and jazz tunes and am about to attempt my first jazz gig this Sunday night. I think the best feeling we can all experience is when we grow. It can only come with hard work and cannot be bought. I loved singing 8 hours a day and being challenged to grow by great teachers who were flown in from around the world. Living amidst people who love music and performing was also inspiring and comforting. I was especially inspired by Chee-bing and Kaiya, a super talented jazz couple (he's a violinist, she's a pianist) that have made it their mission to bring music education and enjoyment to Taiwan.

Sometimes living among "normal" people can be challenging just because it is difficult to be relatable. That said, I am super grateful for the "normal" people who are a part of my life and hence part of my adventure. I know it takes a lot of patience and understanding.

There is so much to share, but I don't want to write a novel here...so I'll just write in short bits...but just wanted to record my recent state of mind and heart as I am more hopeful and positive than I have been over the past year so I want to remember and savor these moments.

Love and peace,
Lily C

PS: I am very proud of my sister who struck out on her own to plan a backpacking trip in Europe all by her lonesome. You can read about her adventures at: http://theanneplan.blogspot.com