Pursuing the elusive "hit song,"...or not...

We've all heard the phrase, "it's the journey, not the destination that counts."  At the same time we live in a society that worships glorified destinations.  Hollywood and the world of sports, epitomize the golden crown so many wish to achieve.  For those without artistic or athletic dreams, the values instilled by media affect how we view ourselves, our bodies and deeply affect how we choose to spend hard-earned resources.  For those with acting, music or sports on their hearts, the final destination can become a prison rather than a playing field, especially when success, as defined by society at large, can often be elusive.

For the past few years of my life, I have wrestled with the desire to create music.  This has at times been inspirational and hopeful, leading me to meet incredibly talented and passionate people whom I would never have met, had I not embarked on this journey.  Other times, it can seem like a black hole that sucks up all my time, resources, and energy.  During the harder moments, I often try to remind myself - it's about the journey.  However, sometimes these reminders ring hollow as I look to find a result or a breakthrough.

Lately, I experienced a supernatural shift in my perspective, for which I am deeply grateful.  This shift has brought a new hope, and a new peace to how I approach what I am doing.  The shift comes from the knowledge that each of us is gifted a unique way that is meant to be a contribution to this world.  Paul Williams, President of ASCAP proclaimed at the 2011 "I Create Music" Expo, "The world deserves to hear your song!"  While I'm not sure that entire world needs to hear my songs, I'm certain there are people out there who will find encouragement and resonance with what I represent.

For many songwriters, life is about the pursuit of writing a "hit."  If you measure yourself against this goal, anything short of a "hit" could be deemed a failure.  I think this is a cruel form of self-punishment.  Rather, I choose henceforth, to open my hands with gratitude for the songs that I've been given and choose to honour these gifts by continually finding creative ways to share my unique perspective on life.  Having hosted open mics for a few years now, including the Songwriters Association of Canada's Toronto Regional Writers Group, it always strikes me how each songwriter has a personal style that is like a fingerprint, completely one-of-a-kind.  I too have my fingerprint that cannot be replicated in this world.

In my mind, I see a picture of myself opening the window and setting a cage of doves free to take flight.  I can't wait to see my songs fly...stay tuned...

The journey begins...again...

This picture is how I feel right now...like an open suitcase, disheveled inside, waiting to be transported.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing.  There is a rawness and humility that comes when you choose to walk the path unknown.

I have some ideas and inklings as to how to proceed, but no concrete path...yet...

The whole blogging/tweeting/status updating life has not been a priority for me these past few years, mostly because I've had to walk through a lot of deep discouragement.  Partially from having to start my life from scratch again in Toronto, and partially from witnessing my mother's battle with ALS.

I'm getting ready to launch out, which is why the suitcase is the perfect image to capture this.  I'm not sure where I'll be launching, or even how, I just know there's a gust of wind coming...

Just birthed a new website: http://ping.fm/UDuhg

Lily is preparing songs and stomach space for this weekend's Song Crib Potluck...YUMMMY!

She is preparing to Swing into Christmas, Please come to the Assembly Hall Friday night at 7:30 for a Jolly Good Time! http://ping.fm/fiCTq

she's killing monsters: http://ping.fm/xTRuN

I am testing Ping.fm...will this broadcast everywhere?

in Toronto...

I've been on a spiritual sabbatical of sorts these days...

I'm contemplating my next move in terms of life direction as I continue to accompany my mom on this very difficult path of ALS.

Laughter and sunshine can feel like somewhat of a memory, but we still manage to find some jewels.

stay tuned...

Mama's Got a New Toy

For the past few months my mom has been reluctant to leave the house because of fatigue and not being able to move independently. More recently, my mom's highlight each week was going to Walmart where scooters (personal mobility devices) are provided for shoppers. She would zip around the aisles and often disappear. I once had to walk around a Super Walmart almost 3 times in order to find my mom who was happily shopping away.

After witnessing the joy of independent mobility, we decided to invest in a "toy" for my mom and as you can see from the look on her face, it has brought her great freedom. I am grateful for all the wheelchair accessible places we have visited - even hiking trails!

Although there is much that remains uncertain about the future and the path and progression of this illness is painful and difficult to accept, we try each day to embrace what we have.

Lily in the Song of Love

What am I doing in all these crazy outfits and why is there someething glued to my face? For the past few months I was in rehearsal to be in a musical that was performed at the end of December at Sun Yet-sen Memorial Hall. The name of the play was Song of Love and it was the story of Madame Chang-Kei Shek set to music. http://meiling.allmusic-mag.net/

What an adventure! At first I was very insecure for several reasons. Firstly I've never been in a musical before. Secondly, the play was mostly in Chinese, hence I was afraid I would not be able to do my part effectively. Thirdly, I was in the chorus and was afraid I would not be able to overcome my ego to enjoy being part of the group.

I am so glad that I persevered and learned through the process. I took a workshop on broadway performance in the summer which was my introduction into the world of musicals. I had no idea there was such a cult following of musicals and I met a lot of interesting friends there. It was very hard work to be in the musical. We had almost nightly practices for 2 months and I had a lot to work on in terms of vocals and pronounciation. At first being one of the chorus made me feel very insecure because I'm using to standing in the spotlight. But after wrestling with my ego, I started to enjoy the process of being in the group. In fact I was grateful because I didn't have the pressure of learning too many songs and I didn't have all the attention on me.

It was very humbling because I saw that I have a long way to go in terms of area for improvement. I'm used to singing my own songs, but not songs written by others. It takes even more skill because it's not written for your range necessarily. The singers in the play, both chorus and lead actors were all super talented. Their vocal range and stability in how they sang was inspiring and again very humbling. I am excited that I found an excellent vocal coach whom I have begun studying with and I have confidence that I will grow a lot under her. As the saying goes, when the student is ready the teacher appears, and I am ecstatic to have such an excellent teacher willing to train me from scratch.

This reminds me of the stories of Tiger Wood relearning his stroke to make a breakthrough in his golfing. He had to forget everything he learned and went into hiding to work on everything piece by piece. That is what I'm doing (though I wasn't as good as him to begin with). My lessons comprise of singing single notes and three notes in a row over and over again and my coach works with me to refine every tiny breath and placement. It is exhausting and so fulfulling! I am excited to resume lessons when I return to Taiwan (as I am currently visiting my family in Canada right now).

I was also happy that I got a chance to contribute lyrics to the opening song of the play. The quality of music in the play was surprising to me. I think the music was touching and professionally produced. It truly was an privilege to witness such dedication and talent to the craft.

Being in the chorus was so much fun. I got to play an American school girl, a geisha girl, part of the Red Guard in China, a woman attending a formal party, as well as a Chinese peasant. The costume changes were rapid and challenging. Sometimes we had to run and undress backstage to get to our scene change on time. Luckily all the people backstage were super helpful. I was touched by my fellow castmates who were all so willing to help me with my pronounciation and singing. They gave me a lot of encouragement and grace.

I hope I can do another play this year...but for now I'm going to continue working on my singing!

Life is such an adventure. I never dreamed I'd be in a musical, never mind performing at Sun Yet-Sen Memorial Hall. I did vocal exercises at the centre of stage when nobody was around one morning and it was thrilling. I hope one day I can have the ability to stand in the center and sing my heart out to a full audience!

For more pictures: http://www.wretch.cc/album/lilycblog

11月17日 (五) 9pm Lily C 在 小客廳

Lily C & 新鮮空氣即將帶給大家一個新鮮的享受!
Something fresh is in the air…

星期五晚上來放輕鬆! 保證給你新的活力及好心情. 我們很榮幸有兩位非常有才華的樂手. 我們的音樂有一股新的力量，也有新歌和大家分享! Kick off the weekend with a relaxing night of music. We've got tunes to inspire and a new jazzy groove that will make you move! We are excited to welcome two super talented new band members to the mix adding a new energy. Look forward to some new takes on old songs as well as a new song preview.

New song preview新歌發表: “I am a bee” & “beware”
混合bossa, funk, afrikaan 及歐式民搖的輕鬆曲風
“I am a bee, I am a butterfly, I am a bird taking flight…”

歡迎新團員!
Roger王洛詰 – 知名爵士鼓手及老師
Martijn - 比利時爵士鍵盤及貝斯手

小客廳THE LIVING ROOM
11月17日 (五) 9pm Fri. Nov. 17
NANJING EAST ROAD, SEC. 5 No. 8, 3rd Fl.
小客廳: 南京東路五段8號3樓
Tel:8787-4154

For more information: www.lilyc.com, www.livingroomtaipei.com

Lily C & 新鮮空氣 即將帶給大家一個新鮮的享受!

Lily C & 新鮮空氣 即將帶給大家一個新鮮的享受!

Something fresh is in the air…

讓我們在週日夜來放輕鬆，好開始新的一週 ！保證給你新的活力及好心情我們很榮幸有兩位非常有才華的樂手加入我們讓我們的音樂有一股新的力量，也有新歌和大家分享！Come and relax before the week begins. We've got tunes to inspire and a new jazzy groove that will make you move! We are excited to welcome two super talented new band members to the mix adding a new energy. Look forward to some new takes on old songs as well as a new song preview.

New song preview　新歌發表 : "I am a bee"
混合 bossa, funk, 及 afrikaan 的輕鬆曲風
"I am a bee, I am a butterfly, I am a bird taking flight…"

歡迎新團員 !
Roger 王洛 – 知名爵士鼓手及老師
Martijn - 比利時爵士鍵盤及貝斯手

河岸留言 RIVERSIDE 11 月5日( 天) 9:30pm Sun. Nov. 5, 9:30pm
羅斯福路3段244 巷2號 B1Roosevelt Rd.. Sec. 3, Lane 244, No. 2, B1
Tel: 2368-7310

一個藍天的下午 An afternoon under the blue sky

我上週有機會和朋友去國父紀念館寫歌。 天氣很奇怪，有大太陽但同時有一陣一陣的毛毛雨而有一個角落有烏雲
Last week I had the time to sit down for an afternoon with a friend and write some songs at Sun Yet Sun Memorial Hall. The weather was very strange. Mostly it was sunny with sudden spurts of rain and a cloudy corner in the sky.

我通常都是一個人在家或在練團室寫歌。難得走出去。 坐在外面讓我感覺好像時間便慢了特別是我們沒有很明確的目標。 很輕鬆。
I usually write music alone in my room or in the band practice room where there are no windows. It was my first venture outside. It struck me that time feels very different when you are sitting outside without a fixed agenda. I felt very relaxed (a rare feeling in Taipei for me).

那天下午有兩個畫面讓我很感動。第一個是看到兩個老先生放又大又精采的風箏。 他們不是為了陪孫子而是自己在享受。 我從來沒看過老人家自己放風箏!
There are two images that shall remain fixed in my mind from that afternoon. Firstly, was the image of two old men flying extravagant kites. They were not taking care of their grandchildren, they were there alone, enjoying the wind and their kites. I never knew this could be a hobby for the elderly.

你上次放風箏是什麼時候? 我這幾個禮拜希望可以回味一下放風箏的樂趣!
When is the last time you flew a kite? I think that it's a goal of mine to do so in the next few weeks!

第二個讓我感動的畫面是在天空最黑的角落出現的美麗彩虹。 讓我想到有的時候生命最珍貴的禮物都是再我們的黑暗時期出現。 好天氣就很難有彩虹。 這提醒我要尋找我生命的彩虹在過去很艱難的一年。
The second image that remains fixed in my mind is a beautiful rainbow that suddenly appeared in the greyest and darkest corner of the sky. It was a very dramatic image and reminded me that sometimes the most beautiful things appear in the darkest parts of our life. Rainbows generally do not appear in perfectly clear weather. So for me, this is a reminder to find the rainbow in my life, even though it has not been an easy walk this past year.

你有看到你深命的彩虹嗎?
Did you see the rainbow in your life?

武陵農場的好心情

我這幾天很開心可以到美麗的武陵農場. 我每天可以看到美麗的山, 水, 樹, 及花. 更讓我開心的是每天晚上有機會和許多遊客分享我的音樂, 夢想故事, 和我的心. 認識了很多很可愛的阿媽和阿公. 我很喜歡他們純浦的心. 他們對我音樂和分享的反應也讓我很感動!

昨天一個人走到魚池有機會看到一些正在逆遊的櫻花鉤吻鮭. 他們的努力鼓勵到我很多! 在走夢想的路總覺得好像必須跟社會的價值觀逆遊. 社會教我們要注重錢和成就甚過於夢想和愛. 但看到這些魚不斷的被水退下去而繼續前進就再一次提醒我,我選的這條路本來就是難走的. 同樣也會被大浪退下去,但我可以像那些魚繼續堅持. 它們知道必須克服這個難關才可以完成它們生命的使命. 這是我想學習的精神.

有些觀眾問我如何可以保持他們看到的熱情和樂觀. 我說這不是我的本性而是我必須每天努力學習的. 這裡路邊有很多花. 早上時他們都向著太陽的方向, 很可愛. 我們也可以從這些花學習把心和思考轉到樂觀的方向. 每天有許多的負面消息及聲音像瀑布般沖, 特別是現在的媒體文化. 所以要正面更是需要花一些努力和力氣. 很重要的是必許有一些有同樣的想發的好朋友, 彼此兼顧,彼此鼓勵才不會那麼辛苦. 你們所給我的鼓勵我很重視, 也很需要!

謝謝大家! 我們可以一起加油!

Lily and Dancing Grannies Pictures

What will you be like at 85?

What will you be like at 85?
你希望如何過八十五歲的生活？

I had the chance to do a concert at a family event last week at the Water Conservation Park. It was a lot of fun, even though it was very hot. The highlight of the show was getting encored and having a group of “older ladies” come up and join me in dancing to my newest dance song “Zoom Zoom”. These ladies could really move. The most inspiring one was the woman with the blue shirt. She couldn’t get enough dancing, even when her daughter tried to get her to sit down to rest. She stubbornly refused and kept dancing to the beat.

我有機會在自來水管的活動表演。 真的很好玩雖然很熱。 特別讓我感動是被encore 及有一群“婆婆”和我一起跳舞。 這些女人真會跳! 特別是穿藍色上衣的那位。 他不斷的跳雖然家屬想把他拉回座位。 他不願意而繼續發揮。

I was amazed to find out that she was 85 years old! I don’t know about you, but I picture 85 to be a time of rest and perhaps frailty. I certainly don’t picture someone who is lively and willing to get up and dance in front of a crowd. She really inspired me. Hopefully I’ll be just as crazy when I’m 85…maybe even when I’m 120!

不可相信他已經八十五歲了! 我以前認為八十五歲的人因該很氨的人因該很安靜，需要多休息，也許有點脆弱。 想像不到八十五歲還可以風俇地在觀眾前發揮活力。 他真的讓我感動。 希望我八十五歲，甚至120歲也可以像他一樣風俇!

Perfect Moments

再不完美的情況我們卻找到完美的快樂. 雖然媽媽生了很可怕的病但看到我們家庭之間的互動突破了許多. 我們很用心創造了很多寶貴的回意. 相信我們的愛和信心會帶來奇蹟. 請大家替我們禱告! I believe in the power of prayer.

2 Months Later...

It's been over 2 months since I last posted. During this time I spent 6 weeks in Canada with my dear family, went to Mexico for lots of gluttony and baking in the sun, participated in a songwriting workshop at Humber College, then came back to Taiwan, did a photoshoot for Palmolive (see my website www.lilyc.com), then took part in two military style workshops back to back, one on jazz singing and the other on broadway performance(http://www.taipeijazz.com/).

I had a very intense experience in Canada emotionally dealing with my mother's illness which has once again been categorized as ALS (http://www.mnda.org.tw/, www.als.ca). In fact I even went to a therapist to help me deal with the progression of my mother's deterioration. He reminded me to stop living in fear of dying but to focus on living which helped me a lot. It also helped to be reminded to cry out my feelings rather than forcing myself to be happy and helpful all the time. So after some gut-wrenching tears, and a month of prayers I do believe I have found peace, space and hope in my heart that was not there before my trip. There were moments when I felt like I was screaming inside from trying to deny the circumstances, but acceptance can be very freeing.

Talking to my mom lately on the phone I do feel encouraged to hear her speaking more clearly than when I was in Canada due to some new accupuncture treatments. I also found a touch therapist provided by a hospice society which has also encouraged my mom. So I am reminded to look at the blessings of the circumstances rather than what sometimes feels like a timebomb that's going to take away her life. I see the fruits of all of this suffering including closer family relationships and the time we've taken to be with each other including going to Mexico, Cuba and Algonquin park. I think I have more closeness and sweet memories with my family than some people will have in their lifetime.

The past two weeks spent in workshops was intense and exhausting, but also exciting. I widened my singing repetoire to include broadway and jazz tunes and am about to attempt my first jazz gig this Sunday night. I think the best feeling we can all experience is when we grow. It can only come with hard work and cannot be bought. I loved singing 8 hours a day and being challenged to grow by great teachers who were flown in from around the world. Living amidst people who love music and performing was also inspiring and comforting. I was especially inspired by Chee-bing and Kaiya, a super talented jazz couple (he's a violinist, she's a pianist) that have made it their mission to bring music education and enjoyment to Taiwan.

Sometimes living among "normal" people can be challenging just because it is difficult to be relatable. That said, I am super grateful for the "normal" people who are a part of my life and hence part of my adventure. I know it takes a lot of patience and understanding.

There is so much to share, but I don't want to write a novel here...so I'll just write in short bits...but just wanted to record my recent state of mind and heart as I am more hopeful and positive than I have been over the past year so I want to remember and savor these moments.

Love and peace,
Lily C

PS: I am very proud of my sister who struck out on her own to plan a backpacking trip in Europe all by her lonesome. You can read about her adventures at: http://theanneplan.blogspot.com

這個星期四...

Share the dream journey together...

堅持夢想的路有的時候覺得很漫長，但收到大家的回應和鼓勵提醒了我堅持的價值不是建立在成不成功，而是在我們如此可以在過程中彼此分享和鼓勵。透過收到的留言和e-mail給我加了很寶貴的油!

我透過這個經歷也找到一個新的信念讓我更有勇氣。 在媒體中有許多"完美"的藝人。 他們的存在很容易讓我們給自己錯誤的"完美"標準。所以我可以很不完美的分享堅持和學習進步的過程是一個很寶貴的機會! 希望你有被激勵到!

Lily C