做檸檬汁

<---Me and My mom 2 years ago.

Jesus said, "In this life you will have trouble,"
Buddha said "Life is suffering."
In The Road Less Travelled, M. Scott Peck said, "Life is difficult."
In Embracing Uncertainity, Susan Jeffers said, "Life is uncertain."

Well, that's not encouraging news! I would say it's bad news! The past two days I felt emotionally challenged as I struggle yet again to deal with accepting the state of my mother's health. My best friend Samantha is also going through a lot because her mother has been showing more serious signs of degredation from Alzheimers. It pains me to watch her have to mourn the loss of the mother she knew while having to take care of this new childlike person in the body of her mother.

I think the hardest thing to do amidst these trials is to accept and let go. ACCEPT. Seems like a simple word, but I often have to wrestle with many of life's unknowns, accepting that control is really just an illusion. LET GO...it's easy for us to think we're in control. We can decide what time to go to bed, what to eat, how much we work, but at any moment events can happen that make us realize that we are never truly in control.

So, how do we stay optimistic? For me it's learning to make the most of what I have. Though it's easy to feel paralyzed by fear and disappointment, like I once quoted on my radio show, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I don't know how much time I can enjoy with my mom, just as Samantha doesn't know how quickly her mother will degrade, but together we are learning how to encourage each other to make the most of it. For me, that means putting off work and going home for extended periods of time and planning small vacations for our family. For Samantha it means building a relationship with the person her mother has become.

When life does not deal you the cards you want, you still need to stay in the game. Besides, you never know when you'll get a surprise ace! I had that feeling yesterday because I was really feeling SO DOWN!...I finally allowed myself to take a nap and when I woke up I found out I had 3 radio interviews lined up for the coming weeks.

It really isn't easy going the indie route. We have no marketing budget and we're just trying our best to find avenues for me to share my music and my heart. With no money, no income and only two people I often feel overwhelmed by the feeling that I'm never doing enough. There's always more that needs to be done. But what I'm learning is to accept where I am and make the most of what I've got. That is not only a form of optimism, it is also a form of appreciation. I need to remind myself to stay grateful, that I have a partner also willing to invest her life, spirit and time, and for all the challenges I've overcome to be where I am today.

My theme song these days, "Let Go" by Frou Frou :-)